My phone rang. It was Tracie. Mass. General just called, we have to go over there. Didn't we just go through this? OK, let me work on getting out of here. My supervisors have been very understanding about our situation over the past twenty-three months. They were just as understanding last night. I called home and spoke with Tracie and the kids not just to reassure them, but to reassure myself. It was difficult not to think "here we go again," but it did cross my mind a few times. Fortunately, MGH did not call back. Tracie got "the bag" from its corner and we were on our way.
I guess the one good thing about the parking garages at the General is that after 8:00 PM, there are plenty of spaces. Into the lobby and onto an elevator to Ellison 8, the Cardiac Surgical Step-Down Unit. They were expecting us and got us settled into a room. I was happy it wasn't me in the johnny, it was cold in there! The nurses were great, as usual, and very upbeat about the impending transplant surgery. A few tests were run and our nurse awaited orders for a few more tests. I made a few phone calls and sent out a blast text to family and friends, promising to update them as the night went on.
A doctor from the Transplant Surgery team came to tell us what was up, and that as of now, things look good. A few more tests on the donor heart and then some surgery prep. He returned a few minutes later. Before he even opened his mouth, his face said it all. Sorry, but an angioplasty on the donor heart showed heart disease and the heart could not be used. He apologized several times, but it wasn't necessary. We already have a bad heart, we don't need another one. We thanked him and got ready to head home. One more blast text went out, telling everyone that we were going home. The nurses were just as upset as we were. I promised them that we would see them again.
Once more, we had a big up and then the bigger down. Having been through it once already it was much easier to cope with. We managed a good nights sleep and the kids were elated to see Mom when they woke up this morning. We're back to waiting, more or less patiently. This will happen, but it will need to be perfect. Forward we move, not looking back